tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post6969749773813299799..comments2013-02-14T13:01:55.114-06:00Comments on Ash-tree Meadow: Babywise: A Parent's Wish Come True or a Baby's Foe? Part 3, Meddling with Mommy's MindHeatherhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13358724065562284467noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-4264465755860465712011-02-18T22:40:04.431-06:002011-02-18T22:40:04.431-06:00I fell prey to the same psychological disillusionm...I fell prey to the same psychological disillusionment that you recount with Ashley. Sadly, I still struggled with it with Edith...partially because I've always struggled so much with peer pressure, even as an adult. I would be interested in a follow up now that you're going through round 2. :)AllRustyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04766234579450950913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-7816794784989151382011-02-18T22:23:21.349-06:002011-02-18T22:23:21.349-06:00I think I musn't have read this one when you p...I think I musn't have read this one when you posted it. But it makes me mad! Not at you, at the book. Especially the paragraph about the benefits of breastmilk. Truly an un-educated description! That's as far as I've gotten so far. :)AllRustyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04766234579450950913noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-38025773883135028832010-08-29T18:40:58.764-05:002010-08-29T18:40:58.764-05:00I hesitate to leave a comment b/c I am not one for...I hesitate to leave a comment b/c I am not one for public controversy and I consider the whole Babywise debate very controversial. It's like many debates among mothers today: to stay at home or not to stay at home, to breastfeed or not to breastfeed, to babywise or not to babywise. The debates are endless. I am a stay at home mother or five children. I used the babywise "system" on all of my babies. I was rigid with the first (I have some regrets) and very loose by the fifth. I do understand the controversy surrounding the Ezzo's. I have an uncle on pastoral staff at GCC and am very aware of what went on. I don't disagree with anything you have said. However, there is something to be said about putting a baby on a schedule. <br /><br />I like the IDEA of babywise, but I certainly think there is much room for improvement in the way the Ezzos present it. It is popular b/c new parents are looking for answers and help during a very exhausting and emotional time. I could write volumes about what I have learned about the first year of a babies life, but the most important thing I have learned is that EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT, EVERY MOMMY/DADDY IS DIFFERENT, and GOD GAVE US MATERNAL INSTINCTS THAT ARE STRONGER THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN READ IN A BOOK. To adhere strictly to the "Ezzo system" would be a mistake, but I also do not believe in on demand feeding outside of six to eight weeks. There is a balance b/w the two, at least there was in my experience. It is different for every family. What worked for my family may not work for yours. Suggestions are helpful, but judgement certainly is not. I have to remind myself of that b/c I can be very quick to judge. <br />We know that a 12 month old (or even a six month old) is capable of sleeping through the night w/o feeding, but you would be nieve to think that isn't happening to many people. Those are the people that need a little dose of babywise or at least a schedule. Just b/c your child naturally fell into sleeping through the night doesn't mean that happens for all people. It can be a very frustrating thing and I cringe when I hear of parents telling how they give their one year olds bottles in the middle of the night. On demand feeding at that age in my opinion IS child centered and unecessary, but again I must go back to the fact that every baby/child is different. As a parent with only one child, I thought I had all the answers and walked around secretly judging people for not doing it the "right" way or the way I would've done it. Now, I know better. (continued in the next line)Mommy to five!noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-27418868128662785942010-08-29T18:39:18.204-05:002010-08-29T18:39:18.204-05:00I hesitate to leave a comment b/c I am not one for...I hesitate to leave a comment b/c I am not one for public controversy and I consider the whole Babywise debate very controversial. It's like many debates among mothers today: to stay at home or not to stay at home, to breastfeed or not to breastfeed, to babywise or not to babywise. The debates are endless. I am a stay at home mother or five children. I used the babywise "system" on all of my babies. I was rigid with the first (I have some regrets) and very loose by the fifth. I do understand the controversy surrounding the Ezzo's. I have an uncle on pastoral staff at GCC and am very aware of what went on. I don't disagree with anything you have said. However, there is something to be said about putting a baby on a schedule. <br /><br />I like the IDEA of babywise, but I certainly think there is much room for improvement in the way the Ezzos present it. It is popular b/c new parents are looking for answers and help during a very exhausting and emotional time. I could write volumes about what I have learned about the first year of a babies life, but the most important thing I have learned is that EVERY BABY IS DIFFERENT, EVERY MOMMY/DADDY IS DIFFERENT, and GOD GAVE US MATERNAL INSTINCTS THAT ARE STRONGER THAN ANYTHING YOU CAN READ IN A BOOK. To adhere strictly to the "Ezzo system" would be a mistake, but I also do not believe in on demand feeding outside of six to eight weeks. There is a balance b/w the two, at least there was in my experience. It is different for every family. What worked for my family may not work for yours. Suggestions are helpful, but judgement certainly is not. I have to remind myself of that b/c I can be very quick to judge. <br />We know that a 12 month old (or even a six month old) is capable of sleeping through the night w/o feeding, but you would be nieve to think that isn't happening to many people. Those are the people that need a little dose of babywise or at least a schedule. Just b/c your child naturally fell into sleeping through the night doesn't mean that happens for all people. It can be a very frustrating thing and I cringe when I hear of parents telling how they give their one year olds bottles in the middle of the night. On demand feeding at that age in my opinion IS child centered and unecessary, but again I must go back to the fact that every baby/child is different. As a parent with only one child, I thought I had all the answers and walked around secretly judging people for not doing it the "right" way or the way I would've done it. Now, I know better. <br />I never started the babywise schedule until my babies were 6-8 weeks old. And putting them on a routine of feeding and naptime worked great for me and if they required an extra feed than no problem - just common sense. A liberal following of Babywise worked for me, but I do understand all of your points in this blog and I don't disagree with most of it. I like the idea of being scheduled - that is just my personality. I wish there was another book similar to the babywise book/method that was a little more balanced and with far less controversy in the Christian circles. I can no longer recommend Babywise to new mothers as I used to. It saddens me, b/c I think there is valueable information in there, but I no longer agree with the presentation and attitudes. It can easily lead people astray not only with their babies, but spiritually too, as you pointed out. <br /><br /> Sorry for my longwindedness. I just feel passionately about this topic, but hardly have a forum to express it. <br /><br />Thank you for sharing your hard work and thoughts on the subject.<br /> Hope my ramblings shed some light from the other side. : )<br /><br />Blessings!Mommy to five!noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-80766541153867734612010-08-29T13:51:32.909-05:002010-08-29T13:51:32.909-05:00Sarah, I will be presenting my posts in hard copy ...Sarah, I will be presenting my posts in hard copy form to my adviser for the Marriage and Family section of my wives training program. (My husband attends DTS, and wives are encouraged to complete an independent study program to be equipped in helping their husbands in ministry.)I know that my posts have been rather long, so I understand it may be hard, especially for moms, to get through them, but I hope you will have the time eventually. Thanks for commenting. : )Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13358724065562284467noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7554897177570092839.post-28354858001736955592010-08-29T11:46:27.089-05:002010-08-29T11:46:27.089-05:00A friend posted this link on facebook - I have onl...A friend posted this link on facebook - I have only had time to skim your posts but I agree with you! I just told a friend with a new baby that if she'd read _Babywise_, she should throw it out. I hope to sit down and finish reading throught these without interruption . . .<br /><br />When you say the series will be used at DTS, do you mean your posts or the Ezzo's work? I hope it's your posts.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com